


You Don’t Have to Say I Love You (to Say I Love You)

by orphan_account



Series: Wesper Microfics [3]
Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys Kissing, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied Sexual Content, Jan Van Eck Can Go to Hell, M/M, Making Out, One Shot, Waffles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22585369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jesper and Wylan still have a lot to work through before they can rebuild, and there’s something important that they need to tell each other.
Relationships: Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck
Series: Wesper Microfics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611424
Comments: 1
Kudos: 71





	You Don’t Have to Say I Love You (to Say I Love You)

**Author's Note:**

> I’m a comeplete mess, I wrote this at 4 AM and I don’t even know if this is good or not so let me know in the comments, guys.  
> Title is from the amazing song “for him.” by Troye Sivan. The album, “Blue Neighborhood” is wonderful and you should listen to it right now.

When Wylan stepped into the Van Eck house is was surreal, but not in a good way. It felt like stepping into a familiar nightmare. His breath caught in his chest when he saw the hole in the ceiling. Sixteen years of memories he’d been barely holding at bay washed over him. He sank to the floor with a ragged sob when he saw the chip in the table where his face had slammed into it. The first time he’d broken a bone, it was his cheekbone when his father had slapped him hard enough that his face had flung back into the corner of the tabletop.

Jesper knelt beside him, draping a lanky arm over Wylan’s shoulders and pulling him close. He couldn’t say it was all right. It obviously wasn’t.

“I wish you didn’t have to see me weak like this,” Wylan whispered into Jesper’s shoulder. “Maybe he wasn’t so wrong about that.”

“You’ll never be weak,” Jesper said forcefully. “Never. You lived through all of that. That’s strength, Wylan.”

“I don’t even know anymore,” Wylan sobbed. “I don’t know what’s right. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Jesper clutched him in his arms. He didn’t know what to do. “Wy?”

Wylan curled into him. Warm tears soaked through the thin cloth of Jesper’s shirt, wet against his skin. “Jesper?

“Wylan– I...” he started. “I love you. I love you because you’re strong, and beautiful, and perfect. Nothing will ever change that. Jan can’t prevent it. I  _love_ you, Wylan.”

Wylan took in a deep breath, “Jes...”

_Oh, no. Please, no. Don’t say you don’t feel it too,_ Jesper prayed silently.

“I love you, too.”

“I know,” Jesper said, and pulled him into a kiss.

—

They were sitting in a small coffee shop on the edge of the university district. A little place where Jesper had used to go when he felt lost. Two plates of waffles sat untouched before them. Wylan wouldn’t eat.

“We don’t ever have to go back to that house and all of it’s bad memories,” Jesper assured him. “Just tell me where you want to go and I’ll take you there.”

Wylan hands balled into fists and his chin jutted out defiantly.  _Damn,_ Jesper thought,  _he looks so pretty when he’s upset._ “We have to go back. We can make it ours. I won’t let him have a hold on me any longer.”

Jesper tugged at the ends of his green and red plaid scarf. “If you want to, but... It’ll always be okay if you feel like you need to leave, okay? Just tell me when you’re ready.”

Wylan nodded, and Jesper reached out under the table, catching the other boy’s pale hand in his and giving it a squeeze.  _I love you,_ he said again this time without words. Sometimes it was better without them. Jesper looked into the endless, endlessly pained blue of Wylan’s eyes, and tried to still his heartbeat. Wylan had been hurt by his father in a way that even Jesper couldn’t heal. It terrified him.

Wylan hooked his ankle around Jesper’s leg.  _I love you, too._ “I want to rebuild my life with you,” he said. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to leave the past behind, but we can try to build a new life. Make some better memories.”

Jesper smiled. “I’d like that.”

“I thought you would.”

—

The walk to their hotel was a quiet one. Jesper held Wylan’s hand, and they were together. That was all that they needed. When Jesper had rented out their room, they headed slowly up to the stairs, savoring each other’s silent company. Wylan pulled the door closed behind him quickly and shucked his coat, letting it fall to the floor carelessly. He grabbed Jesper by the shirt. “Kiss me.”

Jesper complied, pressing his lips to Wylan sweetly. He tasted like strawberries and honey, and it still felt more thrilling than the spin of Makker’s Wheel. Jesper burned with the feeling like a star that would never die. He held Wylan close to him, only letting their mouths part for small gasps of air.

Wylan pushed him onto the bed, straddling him with his thighs, pressing small kisses up Jesper’s jawline.

“If you want me to stop, just say.” Wylan said breathlessly.

“Don’t. Whatever you do, don’t.”

Jesper moved closer to Wylan, even though there was already little space between them, marveling in the way their bodies felt like they were meant to fit together. He felt for the buttons on Wylan’s shirt. “Is this okay?”

“Yes. Ghezen, yes,” Wylan gasped.

Jesper stripped off Wylan’s shirt, tracing his ribs. He drew lines with his fingers between the freckles on his stomach, forming small constellation over Wylan’s skin. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” And Wylan kissed him harder.


End file.
